A Record of My Passage (Part 2)

although i would never cease to react negatively to negative situations, i decided today, that i shouldn’t hold on to that feeling longer. everyone knows that a negative emotion is never helpful towards getting off from the situation. no further explanations needed. it just doesn’t help.

for months, work-related stuff has been bogging me. my previous leader (who was not so capable)… the replacement leader (who is way beyond capable and did something far beyond he’s expected to do)… my teammates (under experienced, thus, creating delays)…

a lot of problems happened. slowly, though, we get by. at times, i would want to wake up and realize that i was just dreaming; that there actually weren’t problems and we’re not having a hard time. i prayed that everything (the problem) was just a dream. i found myself crying for things i didn’t like, yet i have no control of. there were mistakes. there were flaws. and sadly, i had to suffer. even if, the mistakes weren’t mine.

but then life goes on. in cycle. as it always does. rain and shine.

the replacement leader did something to my work of art (my module). he did something that is just not acceptable to me. his motive was good though. but his way wasn’t. he did something. and had me do something. something strange. something unwise. and he wouldn’t listen to me. i was having a hard time doing what he wanted. it was just complicated. because it’s like turning 180°. it’s like we’ve been walking, heading north. and we’re almost there. suddenly, he arrived and told the us that we’re gonna head south, without understanding exactly what he just said, without even knowing (exactly) how to do it.

i explained. he refused to listen. so, because i had to follow him and because, i wanted to be as open-minded as possible, i followed him. along the way, i realized that what he wanted was just not the right thing. i tried hard. just couldn’t get it right. went home, praying he would realize what exactly i did say.

i woke up feeling down. because, i had to continue going to south again. my heart belongs to north. but i gave it all to HIM. i told HIM i’d go where HE wills me to go.

my leader called me up when i arrived at the office. he was telling me to finish my task. the one he ordered. the way he wanted – to south. then, he reviewed my work of art (my module) and geez…. he realized he was wrong. he asked me to explain a little, and then he got it. completely. automagically!

and then he asked me if i have eaten already. and then he gave me a chocolate.

isn’t it amazing?

p.s. my seatmate (who’s been listening to us) wondered what happened to him. he has been refusing to listen to my ways. and suddenly, surprisingly, he retracted what he said. gracefully. praise GOD!