Well, after two days of not being able to make it, I gave up training myself and grabbed all sorts of medicines to help me out – yogurt, anti-consti pills, oolong tea, green powder, rosehip tea, eater’s digest tea. I just couldn’t live with it any longer. So, I consumed all my Nihongo (money) to explain to the pharmacist what mondai (problem) I was into.
Well, anti-consti pills did help. The rest, didn’t.
intro: i wrote it somewhere once. but for those who haven’t read, i made mention that i do have a digestion problem. it all started when i drank a slimming tea. i used it for slimming purposes. that’s it. however, i noticed that when i skip drinking it, i can’t move bowels. i just can’t. my tummy would be so big if i don’t drink the tea. i tried a lot of fruits/vegetables that people say will help me but to no avail. and so, i continued drinking the tea. if my memory serves me right, i have been drinking the tea for 5 straight years. until i had to go back to japan last year, and my mom told me, i had to quit. i tried not drinking the tea for a week but to my dismay i can’t move bowels, so i end up drinking another aid which is actually just like the tea but in tablet form.
i used to drink a 500mg-tablet a day and it used to work. when i consumed all the tabs that i brought with me, i had my mom send me more. she sent me 250mg ones, so i had to consume two tabs a day. until it stopped working. and so, i increased the dosage to three tabs (750mg) a day.
that said, i consumed all the tabs sooner than expected. i consumed all the tabs just last night and although i asked for another meds from back home, it won’t arrive till may 5.
well, that means, i will not be drinking the medicine for like 11 days. that means, i will be learning how else could i live without that medicine. maybe this is enough time for me to finally break my dependency or, to really conclude that my dependency is unbreakable.
and this is otherwise saying that, it could either mean i’ll have a bulging tummy until that day or i’d be glad to finally annouce that i break the relationship i used to have with that medicine.
high-fiber diet.
no junk foods.
no peanuts.
no meat.
just fruits and vegetables.
i have to give this another try. this time, it’s stricker. this time, it’s more serious.
will i make it? is it gonna be agony? or ecstacy?
April 21, 2007 (Fri)
i arrived at the office 9:45 a.m today. official work starts when the clock strikes 10:00. part of my mornings in the office is making and taking a mug of coffee. this is a daily routine, something i always do first.
i made my coffee and drank it. i set aside the mug on my table and get started. busy. very busy. i wasn’t able to go to the CR nor drink water, which i used to do every hour.
clock strikes 12. i got my lunch box and ate my lunch while working still. i finished lunch and set aside my lunch box and spoon right beside my mug. i continued working. in my mind, i was thinking i will grab a glass of water when the clock strikes 1:00pm.
i kept working. clock strikes 1:00 pm. i was working still. of course, we all should. then clock strikes 3:00pm. breaktime. i wanted to grab my bars of “balance power” and perhaps, a mug of coffee or water. i did that. in my mind. and then 6:00pm. until it’s time to leave, i wasn’t able to get another drink nor did i get the chance to eat my blueberry bars.
so, would you believe that i actually only had a single drink today in the office, and it’s that single mug of coffee before i started working? and would you believe that the only time i stood up in the office is when it’s time for me to leave and go home? please believe. it’s true. yeah, and it’s another first time.
this should somehow help you imagine just how busy i was today.
i survived with a single mug of liquid today. and i never get to visit the comfort room. can’t imagine how and why i let that happen.
ever did that?
i am turning old especially today.
today, for the first time, in the history of my existence, i forget where i placed my train ticket. obviously, i had to open my coin purse and drop coins, thereby, waste my money for my train fare, which i supposedly had paid ahead. it’s not that it hurts but, it sure will, if i really lost it.
bad. bad.
lame excuse: i lent it to a friend so that he needed not pay for the train fare last saturday. when he returned it, i was kinda busy watching a movie and so, i placed it near my laptop. i recalled, i placed it somewhere else after i realized i might lose it and so, i am pretty sure, it’s not on my table anymore.
i hope, though, that i will find it inside my room when i get home tonight. it’ll cost me much if i buy a new one. i only got it last thursday and it’s effectivity actually starts on wednesday and before i could even use it, i lost it. explanation: i bought in advance, a one-month-worth ticket and so, the ticket i lost (i hope i did not), is actually my old and new ticket. so, it’s like saying i lost both my old and new tickets.
and so, i am launching calc program, at the same time, double-clicking the lower right-hand side of my monitor (calendar) to see how much i would need to spend for the worst-case-scenario (guess, you know what i mean) because i’d rather not buy again for this month.
darn. so darn.
update:
First thing i did when i get home was look for my precious ticket. And, it’s there, laid on my bookshelf, right below my mini sanitary bag. Praise the Lord!
Everyday, I get to see persons pushing this sort-of-cart. From the picture, it may seem that the person is merely pushing a cart with, maybe, stuffs on it. Sadly, it’s not that. The cart serves as an aid for the person to move.
OK. This ain’t new to me. This is, in fact, an everyday scene in Japan. But I am making it a big deal.
Ain’t it sad? Here in Japan, it’s normal to see disabled persons maneuvering their own wheelchairs and being all alone trying with all their might to continue surviving.
Last night, I came across this old paralyzed woman who could hardly move, pushing her cart inside the grocery store and picking items. It’s just so sad seeing them.
Last week, I saw another paralyzed woman inside a very big and busy train station, maneuvering her own wheelchair going from platform to platform. It sure is so hard. I wish I could push her and help her get to the place she wanted to go.
In my mind, I was asking where are the kids or siblings of these people. In the Philippines, we wouldn’t allow paralyzed persons to be on their own. There should be someone taking good care of them, looking after them. Why do these people here have to be alone? Don’t they have families? Doesn’t anyone care for them?
Isn’t it what families are for – to take good care of each other especially during tough times? We all grow old or go weak anytime. Friends can vanish when we can’t go with them to parties or out-of-towns but our family, they are supposed to be there for us. Family is all we got when the worst comes to us. We may be confiding to our friend/s when we have problems, but at the end of the day (or in the long run), it is our family’s acceptance and understanding that we seek deeply. It is our family (people we love) that matters.
Our relationship with our siblings, parents and/or kids, are, for me, the most important things in this world. I always firmly believe that my family is the most important treasure I have in this world. I always know that no matter what happens to me, they are always there. Whatever I would like to do, they are willing to support. In a lot of ways, my family’s love made me commit into doing something that wouldn’t put them to shame.
I love my family. We help each other. We care for each other. We do not do this, however, to receive assistance (in return) should we suffer from anything. But having a great relationship with them does guarantee that we will never be alone no matter what. Yeah, NO MATTER WHAT!
I know that should I run into trouble anytime, my family wouldn’t ask “Why would I help you?” instead they would say “Why wouldn’t I?” and they’ll come running to rescue me.
And I will never ever push my own aid-cart or maneuver my own wheelchair. Hmnnn… at least, that’s how I feel.
